Getting ready for Residency

So it's been a while since the last post - I matched at Rush in Chicago in Neurology! I'll be moving to Chicago in the next month.

Stay tuned for the blog paradigm shift!

New puppy

So a few weeks ago I went temporarily insane and adopted a puppy from the SPCA.



His name is Charlie. He is 6 months old, so not a PUPPY puppy, but young enough to be trouble. So far I've lost 2 pairs of flip flops, a book, a placemat, and 2 fairy light covers to his "teething" process. He's also nibbled on one of the couch arms, a pillow, a sheepskin rug, a hallway rug, the linoleum flooring, and various items from the recycling bin. We now have a doggy gate so he can't wander upstairs, and we also have doggy proofed (for the most part), the area where he hangs out. We also bought him about 18 million different chew toys. Guess which one is his favorite?



If you guessed the one in the middle, you are correct. He loves all those dangly rope legs. He practically prances when he is carrying that toy in his mouth, and he tosses his head back so he can watch the little legs fly all over the place as he walks.

Face!

OK, so disregard my seemingly crazy insightful psychiatric analysis of my toothache situation. Not only did my toothache completely go away (due to wearing a very real and non-metaphysical mouthguard), but my psych exam score came back and was nowhere near as good as I thought it would be. Apparently I am not cut out to be a psychiatrist, and if I was indeed running my own practice, it would probably be out of a booth at the county fair.

Toothache, or somatization disorder?

My next exam is psychiatry, and instead of actually studying it, I am going to try to apply it to myself (which is really what all medical students actually do anyway - why do you think so many of us go to student health all the time?). So here are the facts:

As you all read in the last post, the motivation is gone, and I don't even care (that's my party line right now). But there must still be a part of me that is uptight, because as soon as exam week started, I got a toothache. There is clearly a part of me that wants to freak out over exams, and if I'm not going to accept that, then my tooth is just going to keep on aching. So, according to my psych notes (that I am currently NOT actually studying, despite looming exam tomorrow morning), I am somaticizing my anxieties into a physical ailment - in my case, a toothache.

Too bad I am not practicing, or I could charge myself $200 for that diagnosis.

Burnout...

... is what I am feeling these days. Second year is like a never-ending slew of the binge and purge of information. As I move into exam week, I realize how much motivation I've lost since I was a bright-eyed and energetic first year. I've gotten to the point where I don't even care that I've lost motivation. Earlier in the year, I still got worked up about the fact that I wasn't as worked up about exams. Now, even that is gone.

But as sad as it is that I am not as gung-ho about learning everything they throw at us as I used to be, I realize that this is probably a good development. No one can make it through medical school giving that much of themselves to their studies without losing a big part of themselves by the end of the process. I don't see how that would make you a better doctor.

Far away friends

Today, two good friends called me from what currently feels like the other end of the world - Iraq. Their voices sounded so far away, so quiet. They both have phone numbers with Northern Virginia area codes, and so can call me as if they are calling from the next county over. But the amount of satellites the frequency must be crossing blows my mind. I've been a little worried about them, especially Stephanie, who just got there a few days ago. I know that they are safe and secure, and that nothing bad will happen to them. I have to say, though - hearing their voices on the phone made me feel a lot better!

And since they are so far away, and we won't be able to talk as much, and also because John guilted me, I am going to try to get better about updating the blog.

Right now I am (big surprise) studying for exams. This is the 3rd block of 2nd year curriculum, out of a total of four blocks. We finish our fourth and final block in March, then take a month off to study for and take the first step of our national qualifying exams, the USMLE. After I take it, I am meeting John and Stephanie somewhere in the world, destination yet to be determined. We are leaning towards Egypt, Australia, or Monaco (this was John's idea; I don't think I could even find Monaco on a map). Egypt would be cooler, but Australia would probably be cool while being a lot more relaxing.... We'll see!

Library culture

With exams looming, the med students are starting to take up residency in the Dungeon of Sorrow and Despair, otherwise known as the Health Sciences Library. At all hours of the morning, noon, and night, you are sure to see us. How can you spot us? - observation, my friends. Look for multiple empty cups of coffee on our desks, multiple rings under our eyes, unshaved scruff, unwashed hair, and if all else fails, follow the scent of anxiety tinged with self-doubt.

The psychology of library study could spawn a number of semi-legitimate pyscho-social books, but I will attempt to report my modest findings on my humble blog, at least as it pertains to the students at my school.

1) Territoriality .... although there are certainly no signs or placards on the cubicles or desks, woe to she/he who decides to sit at a desk that "belongs" to a student who has sat there all week/month/year. Although there have not been any Jerry Springer-esque brawls over seats as yet, I feel like it could go there (especially right before the pathology exam).

2) Distraction .... I think that people come to the library to be distracted as much as they do to study really intensely. Unless you find a REALLY out of the way room in the back of the library where no one can walk by, you are guaranteed to be interrupted while studying at least 3-4 times an hour. A library full of over-anxious med students with borderline ADD and who don't want to study is a recipe for disaster. Interruptions include: friend throws pen at you as they walk by, friend asks question about random wording in page 232 of path notes, friend makes fun of your noise-canceling headphones, friend decides to complain about current dysfunctional relationship, friend asks you to come get 15th cup of coffee with them, etc. etc. And of course, since you really don't want to study either, you embrace it - you are happy to take the offramp to procrastinationville with them. And, since it takes about ten minutes after an interruption to get back into the studying groove, this means that when you are in the library, you really only get about 20 minutes of studying per hour that you are there.

3) Noisy librarians ... honestly, I think every library of every school I have been to has a few of these. These are the librarians who, when showing a student where to find some certain book or journal that has eluded them, feel that unless they shout every detail about the location of said publication multiple times in multiple ways, there is no way the job could be done. They also love to chat loudly about their weekend plans ad nauseum at their desks right by the study areas. And by the way, in case you were wondering how it feels to learn that the science librarians have a more interesting, active and fulfilling social life than you do, I'll tell you - not too good.

4) Black cloud of doom ... that is what I call the feeling you get when walking into the library knowing that you will be spending the rest of the day there, as well as every day subsequently for the next week. It's not that you literally feel like offing yourself every time you walk in, more like being doused with a sad, soul-rending knowledge that now that you're here, you actually have to study. A lot.

... 7 more days ...